


avengers in a groupchat

by raindrxpsonrxses



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Light Angst, Memes, Multi, groupchat, i love my avengers, soft meme children, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-08-04 10:48:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16345325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raindrxpsonrxses/pseuds/raindrxpsonrxses
Summary: the title. someone decides it’s a good idea to add the avengers into a groupchat. random shenanigans insue. basically a big phat meme.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> their usernames should be obvious. there’s multiple groupchats for the different ‘cliques’ because obviously there are groups within the group and i can and will fight you on this
> 
> anyway enjoy!

_groupchat initiated_

old fucker #1 : what  
why am i here  
what is my name  
why have you done this

legolas : fuck if i know

peker : ???

little red : i’m getting my guns

greasy bitch : where the fuck are my knives  
and i’M NOT GREASY

birb fucker : oh for fucks sAKE

old fucker #1 : why all the swearing????

old fucker #2 : steebie i love you but what the fuck

parry hotter : i’m going to fucking murder whoever did this  
fuck  
it was tony  
obviously  
parry fucking hotter

sureieee : oh my god

greasy bitch : fucking whore

rapunzel : why the foul language, brother?

shrek 2.0 : thor, look at the names of everyone. loki has the right to be upset.  
i’m breaking tony’s chemistry kit if he doesn’t fix this

the bestest bitch : geez calm the fuck down  
it a JOKE

little red : will it still be a joke if i invert your rib cage

sonic the hedgehog : jesus christ 

red witch girl : oh my god pietro

peker : lmaoo 

greasy bitch : is she wrong tho

old fucker #1 : yes

old fucker #2 : ehh

_little red is now nat_

_shrek 2.0 is now brucie_

_parry hotter is now strange_

_birb fucker is now sam_

_legolas is now clint_

_peker is now peter_

_sureieee is now shuri_

_rapunzel is now thor_

_greasy bitch is now loki_

_old fucker #1 is now steve_

_old fucker #2 is now bucky_

_red witch girl is now wanda_

_sonic the hedgehog is now pietro_

the bestest bitch : y’all happy yet? 

steve: change yours

the bestest bitch : rude  
smh

_the bestest bitch is now tony_

nat : this won’t stop me from breaking your fucking skull open

_tony is now offline_

loki : lmaoo

peter : please don’t touch him!!! please!! pl ease!1! ple ase?

shuri : lmao he broken

bucky : someone call 911

thor : why

bucky : nat went to get loki 

sam : fuck

clint : lmao tony’s fucked

strange : oh fuck off i’ll get him  
like fucking always  
why does this always happen 

_strange is now offline_

_nat is now offline_

_loki is now offline_

pietro : haha their fucked

brucie: *they’re

pietro : nerd 

thor : bruce why is the magical toasting machine screaming

brucie : did you burn something

thor : perhaps

wanda : oh my god

clint : lmao whatever bye

sam : can’t deal with this shit for much longer

bucky : mood

_all members are offline_


	2. Chapter 2

_the avengers & co._

ironass : yo

greasy god : fuck off anthony 

buck buck : lmaooo

a queen : oh yeet  
a queen : sister SNAPPED

arachnid : we stan a legend

deaf boye : speak english 

gotta go fast : fuck off oldass they do what they want

what a witch : word

ironass : shut the fuck up i don’t need this negativity

buck buck : don’t give a fuck

arachnid : please leave him alone  
arachnid : he’s pure

greasy god : right

deaf boye : i’ll believe that when i’m dead

ironass : fuck all of you anyways  
ironass : guess what  
ironass : none of you can hate me as much as i already hate myself

a queen : ANTHONY EDWARD STARK

buck buck : oh shit

a queen : NO SELF HATE ON THIS GC

ironass : lmaoo i’ll just self hate by myself in my lab then

witch, please : a Mood™

star spangled ding dongs : what does this mean   
star spangled ding dongs : please tell me i’m confused

goldilocks : i believe it means ‘me too’

greasy god : thor shut up you can’t meme

gotta go fast : yess toast your brother   
gotta go fast : *roast

buck buck : no, please toast your brother 

gnat : FUCK OFF ITS 3AM NOONE IS TOASTING THEIR BROTHERS

witch, please : what a shame

_wizz is online_

buck buck : oh shit

wizz : shut the fuck up or i’m portallibg y’alls asses to nat n she can deal w/ you  
wizz : who’s singing

deaf boye : not i 

a queen : not i 

arachnid : not i 

buck buck : not i 

greasy god : I

wizz : THATS FUCKING IT STOP SIGNING THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE THEME FUCKING W E A S E L

greasy god : you can’t tell me what to dosjainsianiz !!!jnia ai ?8:’wow. J sai j!&

dOcToR B : what  
dOcToR B : let me sleep please

gotta go fast : LMAOOOOO LOKI GOT HIS ASS PORTALLED

gnat : SHUT THE FUCK UP 

_gnat has temporarily terminated the chat_

 

 

_dream meme team_

buckaroo : LMAOOO

shUri : they really had to do it to em

ppppp : poor loki :(

sins not tragedies : lmao peter it’s great

bow pathetic mortals : Haianaubz ukaiwuakoa!hjsianjjgsuai£:8-&/£/7!-!j ska

sssssonic : can’t tell me that ain’t funny

shUri : right now let us rest

ppppp : rEsT

_group offline_


	3. west end girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> backstreets back alright !!!
> 
> came back from impromptu hiatus bc of the lovely comment someone left on the last chapter :)))
> 
> for reference this fic takes place after civil war but team cap were ''forgiven'' and live in the tower w/ everyone else. im ignoring iw and endgame because fuck that noise so no spoilers here xoxo
> 
> (ragnarok happened blah blah)

_avengers & co._

 

buck buck : hey !!! we should play fmk

 

gnat : ?? why

 

buck buck : ''''''team building exercise''''''

 

gnat : fair

 

deaf boye : sure why not

 

witch, please : im down for chaos any day

 

gotta go fast : yee yee

 

star spangled ding dongs : whats fmk

 

ironass : fuck marry kill sign me the FUCK up

 

wizz : h sure

 

arachnid : ebic im in

 

star spangled ding dongs : fine

 

goldilocks : this sounds fun !!

 

greasy god : yeah obviously bitch

 

a queen : oop she snapped   😌 😌☕☕

 

a queen : also yes lets go

 

dOcToR B : i mean im down

 

buck buck : oKAY thats the gang gathered except sam but hes never online sO lets begin

 

buck buck : tony fmk steve bruce strange

 

ironass : um

 

ironass : my hoe ass cant decide lol

 

ironass : fuck strange marry bruce kill steve

 

star spangled ding dongs : appreciate it

 

ironass : u tried to kill me not long ago so shut ur fuck

 

gnat : ur other choices. eggsplain

 

ironass : brucies cute strange's fuckable

 

arachnid : fair

 

ironass : nat. fmk shuri wanda hope

 

deaf boye : forgot what a queen hope is

 

gnat : fuck hope kill shuri marry wanda

 

witch, please : wifey material [ring emoji x3]

 

gnat : [heart emoji x3] [ring emoji]

 

a queen : ick

 

gnat : bruce fmk thor steve bucky

 

dOcToR B : fuck buck marry thor kill steve sorry 

 

arachnid : suspiciously quick response ??

 

gotta go fast : b has a thing for muscley dudes

 

greasy god : duh have you SEEN him ogling my brother

 

dOcToR B : RIGht lets move on

 

dOcToR B : steve fmk bucky peggy sharon

 

greasy god : what the fuck sharons peggys niece ???????

 

gnat : oop he snitchin

 

goldilocks : steve what are they talking about

 

buck buck : gtg chicken

 

arachnid : lmaoo

 

star spangled ding dongs : i may or may not have kissed sharon

 

buck buck : fuckingfhajdsjfhsj idiot

 

ironass : incest much

 

deaf boye : f

 

witch, please : alexa play sweet home alabama

 

J.A.R.V.I.S : PLAYING 'Sweet Home Alabama' now!

 

arachnid : AJGDHJAGSDKJSJASDH I CANT BRWSTH 

 

ironass : when jarvis be snitchin [sad emoji] [fist emoji]

 

star spangled ding dongs : i hate you all so much i swear

 

a queen : answer the original question bitch. fmk bucky peggy sharon !1!!!!

 

star spangled ding dongs : no comment.

 

buck buck : STEVE YOU WHORE

 

deaf boye : lets move on before someone ends up dead 

 

gotta go fast : get money yeh yeh

 

 

 

_dream meme team_

 

shUri : i have an idea

 

sins not tragedies : um

 

shUri : on my signal go @everyone

 

ppppp : whats the signal and what do we do

 

shUri : u'll get there

 

 

 

_avengers & co_

 

star spangled ding dongs : BUCKY IM NOT A WHORE I PROMISE

 

a queen : ok wanda fmk west end girls

 

 

 

_dream meme team_

 

shUri : GO

 

 

 

_avengers & co._

 

goldilocks : what

 

witch, please : sometimes youre better off dead

 

arachnid : theres a gun in your hand its pointing at your head

 

gotta go fast : you think youre mad, too unstable

 

greasy god  : kicking in chairs and knocking down tables

 

star spangled ding dongs : ??

 

ironass : IN A RESTAURANT IN A WEST END TOWN

 

buck buck : call the police theres a madman around

 

dOcToR B : running down underground

 

wizz : to a dive bar in a west end town

 

deaf boye : IN A WEST END TOWN A DEAD END WORLD

 

a queen : THE EAST END BOYS AND WEST END GIRLS

 

arachnid : IN A WEST END TOWN IN A DEAD END WORLD

 

gnat : THE EAST END BOYS AND WEST END GIRLS

 

witch, please : WEST END GIRLLLS

 

goldilocks : i dont know whats going on

 

greasy god : TOO MANY SHADOWS WHISPERING VOICES

 

star spangled ding dongs : me neither

 

ironass : FACES ON POSTERS, TOO MANY CHOICES

 

a queen : IF WHEN WHY WHAT HOW MUCH HAVE YOU GOT

 

witch, please : HAVE YOU GOT IT DO YOU GET IT IF SO HOW OFTEN

 

buck buck : WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE, A HARD OR SOFT OPTION

 

dOctOr B : HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED

 

deaf boye : IN A WEST END TOWN A DEAD END WORLD

 

ironass : THE EAST END BOYS AND WEST END GIRLS

 

arachnid : IN A WEST END TOWN IN A DEAD END WORLD

 

wizz : THE EAST END BOYS AND WEST END GIRLS

 

gnat : west end girlllsss

 

greasy god : YOU GOT A HEART OF GLASS OR A HEART OF STONE

 

buck buck : JUST YOU WAIT TILL I GET YOU HOME

 

ironass : WEVE GOT NO FUTURE WEVE GOT NO PAST

 

a queen : HERE TODAY BUILT TO LAST

 

witch, please : IN EVERY CITY AND EVERY NATION

 

gotta go fast : FROM LAKE GENEVA TO THE FINLAND STATION

 

deaf boye : HOW FAR HAVE YOU BEEN

 

a queen : one more time !!!

 

arachnid : IN A WEST END TOWN A DEAD END WORLD

 

dOcToR B : THE EAST END BOYS AND WEST END GIRLS

 

gnat : IN A WEST END TOWN IN A DEAD END WORLD

 

wizz : THE EAST END BOYS AND WEST END GIRLS

 

ironass : WEST

 

buck buck : END

 

a queen : GIRLLSSSSSSSS

 

arachnid : HI SHURI THAT WAS RHE BEST IDEA YIUVE EVER HAD ILY

 

a queen : ILY 2 UWU UWU

 

ironass : west end girls!!!1!!1! im literally shaking omf

 

gotta go fast : why am i crying at the club rn

 

goldilocks : someone please tell me whats going on

 

greasy god : no, die

 

buck buck : that was the best thing sadhksjhfadslf

 

arachnid : NEVER MIND NATS FORTNITE DANCING. CANCELLED

 

gnat : take the L

 

wizz : this really is the most cursed timeline huh

 

 

_sam is online_

 

 

sam : huh what 

 

buck buck : missed it bitch

 

 

 

_NOTIFICATION_

_party @ mine and clints old house!! [coordinates] bring booze, if u get this message pass it on, if u see this message ur invited xoxo - laura_

 


	4. œuf

_avengers & co._

 

ironass (Tony Stark)

wizz (Stephen Strange)

greasy god (Loki)

star spangled ding dongs (Steve Rogers)

arachnid (Peter Parker)

a queen (Shuri)

gnat (Natasha Romanoff)

buck buck (Bucky Barnes)

deaf boye (Clint Barton)

witch, please (Wanda Maximoff)

gotta go fast (Pietro Maximoff)

goldilocks (Thor)

dOcToR b (Bruce Banner)

sam (Sam Wilson)

 

 

deaf boye : DID YALLS GET THE PARTY INVITE

 

gotta go fast : ??? no ????

 

ironass : yh pepper sent it to me

 

gotta go fast : ????? what party ????? am i not invited ???

 

witch, please : i got it too lol

 

gotta go fast : oh, so im being betrayed by my own twin. nice cool cool nice cool nice nice cool nice nice nice cool

 

dOcToR B : [screenshot of the invite at bottom of previous chapter]

 

gotta go fast : EBIC

 

gnat : laura invited the girlies before all u hoes

 

star spangled ding dongs : oh ok

 

arachnid : hEy @ironass can i invite a few friends??????? the rlly cool ones who know my identity and are really chill yeah yeah

 

ironass : i mean why not

 

goldilocks : am i invited to this celebration?

 

greasy god : no, perish

 

arachnid : yeah u are u saw the invite

 

buck buck : oop

 

goldilocks : excellent! so can I make something to bring? 

 

greasy god : YOUR PINTEREST CONCOCTIONS ARE NOT WELCOME AT THE PARTY, BITCH.

 

arachnid : yes you can thor sweetie

 

goldilocks : thankyou, spider-man!

 

greasy god : no dont come it wont be cool if u come

 

arachnid : no problem :)

 

wizz : @greasy god he doesn’t care stinky

 

witch, please : press f to pay respects

 

 

 

 

_vore nation_

 

not a communist but capitalism is flawed (MJ)

oh yeah mr crabs (Ned)

not spiderman (Peter Parker)

homophobia is gay (Wade Wilson)

 

 

not spiderman : [screenshot of the invite]

 

not a communist but capitalism is flawed : oh i already know

 

not spiderman : ????????

 

not a communist but capitalism is flawed : the amazing miss potts sent it to me

 

not spiderman : cant argue with pepper tbfh

 

oh yeah mr crabs : HSJAHSKAHSJAJAH AN AVENGERS PARTY?!!!?!?!???? PETE IM CRYINF

 

not spiderman : ned sweetie ily

 

homophobia is gay : oh that’s So cool! can i Annoy all The Avengers into Adding me To their secret Chat

 

not spiderman : bls stop typing like that also there’s no secret chat

 

homophobia is gay : anything For you Angel Boy (in a Platonic Way or tony Will beat Me)

 

oh yeah mr crabs : and i oop-

 

 

 

 

_peter isn’t allowed to name the chat anymore_

 

ziggy stardust (Peter Quill)

walking thesaurus (Drax)

baddest bitch in this joint (Gamora)

terminator (Nebula)

big softie (Mantis)

not a raccoon (Rocket)

 

 

baddest bitch in this joint : do you guys remember valkyrie

 

big softie : yes!! i love her

 

terminator : shes pretty powerful i guess

 

ziggy stardust : i mean she could snap my neck with her pinkies and honestly? i wouldn’t blame her i would be thankful

 

walking thesaurus : no comment until peter changes my name

 

baddest bitch in this joint : she sent me this in the bad bitch chat [screenshot of invite]

 

ziggy stardust : i think i just had a heart attack WHAT WHY WOUDKS VAL INVITE THE LESST COOL PEOPLE JN THE GALAXY TO THE PARTYH

 

big softie : i for one am very excited! will there be other girls there?

 

baddest bitch in this joint : yeah there should be

 

terminator : the fit ones are mine

 

big softie : oh! okay :)

 

ziggy stardust : ignore her mantis u can have some pretty girls

 

big softie : thankyou peter 

 

not a raccoon : right take us to terra then. groot is staying here or he’ll get us banned from the entire planet

 

ziggy stardust : fuck you

 

not a raccoon : id rather not

 

terminator : [eye roll emoji x2]

 

 

 

 

 

 _jerry_ , _this_ _peach_ _is_ _subpar_

 

really sexy of me (Hope Van Dyne)

very VERY small (Scott Lang)

under-appreciated loser (Luis)

the main man man main (Hank Pym)

 

 

really sexy of me : [screenshot of the party invite]

 

very VERY small : œuf

 

under-appreciated loser : sorry i don’t speak portuguese dude

 

the main man man main : it’s french for egg

 

very VERY small : i want to say ‘shut it grandpa’ but i don’t want to get smacked down by hope. what a dilemma

 

very VERY small : it was a super clever reference to ‘oof’ but in a different language bc i am superior

 

really sexy of me : shut the fuck up the fit one is talking 

 

really sexy of me : the party. be there or be square 

 

very VERY small : yes ma’am 

 

under-appreciated loser : yes ma’am 

 

the main man man main : yes ma’am 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_wakakakakaka_

 

dont mine at night (Shuri)

furry (T’Challa)

opposite of a roblox thot (Nakia)

dont mcfucking test me (Okoye)

 

 

dont mcfucking test me : [screenshot of invite]

 

dont mine at night : skjks jokes on u the avengers gc sent me that three seconds before u did

 

furry : why am i not in the avengers gc when i fight with them and u dont 

 

dont mine at night : bc ur degenerate furry scum n they don’t associate with u

 

opposite of a roblox thot : yikes

 

furry : im not a furry

 

dont mine at night : ur username would suggest otherwise

 

opposite of a roblox thot : take the L

 

furry : ouch my feelings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_twenty minutes before the party..._

 

 

_untitled chat_

 

_natasha r has added pepper p, gamora, hope van d, maria h, valkyrie, carol d, wanda m, laura b, sharon c and okoye to the chat_

 

 

natasha r : this shall be the party chat

 

natasha r : right now its just a replica of our boss ass bitch gc but that will change shortly

 

hope van d : right okay 

 

hope van d : let’s get adding soldiers

 

okoye : WAIT

 

okoye has changed the chat name to ‘it’s party time’

 

okoye : okay go for it

 

maria h : excellent addition

 

_pepper p has added 30+ users to the chat_

 

_pepper p has muted all new users_

 

valkyrie : that’s a lot of damage

 

pepper p : everyone i just added are all the people i know got the invite. if ur reading this and know of others who got the invite, dm me or one of the other boss ass bitches and we'll add them

 

carol d : is this not just the avengers gc but glorified

 

pepper p : basically

 

_carol d has added maria t to the chat_

 

carol d : this is maria shes the best and shes coming

 

laura b : nice

 

_gamora has added 5 new users to the chat_

 

gamora : these are the guardians and theyre gay space hoes. ladies hit up @mantis and @nebula theyre looking to cuddle and smash puss, respectively

 

hope van d : thats gay i can respect that

 

sharon c : peter parker just sent me a few names and i know one has beef with at least two ppl on here but im adding them anyway bc the others seem pure and good

 

_sharon c added 3 new users to the chat_

 

wanda m : DID PETE INVITE WADE FUCKING WILSON???!!!?!!?1?1! THAT MAD LAD DGHJWFHKSAGDFHL

 

_valkyrie had added 10+ new users to the chat_

valkyrie : i was sent these

 

_okoye has added 5 new users to the chat_

 

maria h : are we ready to unmute?

 

natasha r : hang on

 

_natasha r has added a new setting to the chat. more than 5 consecutive messages will be marked as spam and you will receive a warning, as well as a five minute mute. admins can mark anything they see fit as spam._

 

hope van d : smartt 

 

hope van d : i take it we're admins

 

pepper p : all the girlies are admins babe [lipstick kiss emoji x2]

 

okoye : nice

 

laura b : okay on three

 

wanda m : one

 

sharon c : two

 

valkyrie : THREE

 

_carol d has unmuted the chat_

 

 


End file.
